Mooncake festival~~~ coming soon~~~

As every girl and boy knows, Chinese celebrates the mooncake festival, literally known as Mid-Autumn Festival at the 15th of August. That is when people eat mooncakes under the moon and blablabla. Usually, a person who is smart like me will ask for the story behind it. And I did, I googled and these is what I got.

Version 1: The earth once had ten suns circling over it, each taking turn to illuminate the earth. One day, however, all ten suns appeared together, scorching the earth with their heat. Houyi, a strong and tyrannical archer, saved the earth by shooting down nine of the suns. He eventually became King, but grew to become a despot.

One day, Houyi stole the elixir of life from a goddess. However, his beautiful wife, Chang'e, drank it in order to save the people from her husband’s tyrannical rule. After drinking it, she found herself floating, and flew to the moon. Houyi loved his divinely beautiful wife so much, he did not shoot down the moon.

Boring right? After reading this story, you will then realize how narrow are the imaginations of those ancient people.And if Chang'er really flew to the moon, why didn't the American astronauts find her? Does it make sense?Of course it dosent.... I actually prefer my own version of story for this festival, which is....


Twice upon a time, a guy called HouYi saw 10 suns in sky when he was looking for 1 cents on the ground. He then took out his bow, and shot an arrow through the sky..... the arrow soar through the sky and.... it dropped on his ear after 3 seconds. But he was a man, he shoot and shoot until he ran out of arrows and became deaf.

HouYi had no choice but to play hack and made himself a bowmaster, what a smart boy! After the hack, he managed to shoot his arrow through the ozone layer,but..... as you learn in science, objects that penetrate(don't be sick) through the ozone layer will... be burnt.So he failed again.... so sad.

After learning his lesson from his mistake, his brain evolved from Snowbro to Slowpoke(devolving). He then buy an A4 paper and drew 10 suns on it, and poke through the "suns" one by one. Impressed by his own heroic deed, he went back home to find his wife, Chang'er.

When he reached home, Chang'er jumped and landed a big tight slap on his face without saying anything. Before HoiYi had a chance to say " you b!tc*! ", Chang'er took the paper with 10 "suns" on it and screamed at him" Betrayer of the wife!!! You actually have a picture of 5 pair of b00bs! OMG! YOU POOKK THEM SUMMORE!!!IS THAT WHAT YOU DO EVERYDAY WHEN YOU ARE OUT!??!?!"

Puzzled by what his wife was saying, HouYi didn't know what to say, so he just said" YES! YOU NOOB!" and accidentally spit his saliva into Chang'er's mouth. She fainted and float to her journey to the moon at 1 mm per year speed. That is the reason why the American astronauts can't find Chang'er on the moon surface since she is still floating on her way to the moon.


Rate the useless wikipedia version of story and my make'sense story , out of ten, in my chat box ^^