As every girl and boy knows, Chinese celebrates the mooncake festival, literally known as Mid-Autumn Festival at the 15th of August. That is when people eat mooncakes under the moon and blablabla. Usually, a person who is smart like me will ask for the story behind it. And I did, I googled and these is what I got.
Version 1: The earth once had ten suns circling over it, each taking turn to illuminate the earth. One day, however, all ten suns appeared together, scorching the earth with their heat. Houyi, a strong and tyrannical archer, saved the earth by shooting down nine of the suns. He eventually became King, but grew to become a despot.
One day, Houyi stole the elixir of life from a goddess. However, his beautiful wife, Chang'e, drank it in order to save the people from her husband’s tyrannical rule. After drinking it, she found herself floating, and flew to the moon. Houyi loved his divinely beautiful wife so much, he did not shoot down the moon.
Boring right? After reading this story, you will then realize how narrow are the imaginations of those ancient people.And if Chang'er really flew to the moon, why didn't the American astronauts find her? Does it make sense?Of course it dosent.... I actually prefer my own version of story for this festival, which is....
Twice upon a time, a guy called HouYi saw 10 suns in sky when he was looking for 1 cents on the ground. He then took out his bow, and shot an arrow through the sky..... the arrow soar through the sky and.... it dropped on his ear after 3 seconds. But he was a man, he shoot and shoot until he ran out of arrows and became deaf.
HouYi had no choice but to play hack and made himself a bowmaster, what a smart boy! After the hack, he managed to shoot his arrow through the ozone layer,but..... as you learn in science, objects that penetrate(don't be sick) through the ozone layer will... be burnt.So he failed again.... so sad.
After learning his lesson from his mistake, his brain evolved from Snowbro to Slowpoke(devolving). He then buy an A4 paper and drew 10 suns on it, and poke through the "suns" one by one. Impressed by his own heroic deed, he went back home to find his wife, Chang'er.
When he reached home, Chang'er jumped and landed a big tight slap on his face without saying anything. Before HoiYi had a chance to say " you b!tc*! ", Chang'er took the paper with 10 "suns" on it and screamed at him" Betrayer of the wife!!! You actually have a picture of 5 pair of b00bs! OMG! YOU POOKK THEM SUMMORE!!!IS THAT WHAT YOU DO EVERYDAY WHEN YOU ARE OUT!??!?!"
Puzzled by what his wife was saying, HouYi didn't know what to say, so he just said" YES! YOU NOOB!" and accidentally spit his saliva into Chang'er's mouth. She fainted and float to her journey to the moon at 1 mm per year speed. That is the reason why the American astronauts can't find Chang'er on the moon surface since she is still floating on her way to the moon.
Rate the useless wikipedia version of story and my make'sense story , out of ten, in my chat box ^^
Monday, July 20, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
The "F" word
Nowadays, if you ask anyone who is above 12 years-old in school or anywhere" What is the "F" word?", they will either say the word or laugh over your retardedness for 3 seconds.
The "F" word is actually F__ U__ C__ K, but wait.... how many words start with the letter "F" in the dictionary? Ok... let's see... the first word in the "F" category in actually fab. If you use your dam brains,and ask yourself " Why did people call F*** the "F" word out of the countless "F" starting words?"
Do you think justice is served? Think again, I am quite sure that F*** has the most negative and rude word among the other f words. However, F*** gets the title " The 'F' Word", don't you think it is unfair? Even the word fart is better f***.
Therefore, I hereby hope all of you change the "F" word title to other letters for the sake of F words.
The "F" word is actually F__ U__ C__ K, but wait.... how many words start with the letter "F" in the dictionary? Ok... let's see... the first word in the "F" category in actually fab. If you use your dam brains,and ask yourself " Why did people call F*** the "F" word out of the countless "F" starting words?"
Do you think justice is served? Think again, I am quite sure that F*** has the most negative and rude word among the other f words. However, F*** gets the title " The 'F' Word", don't you think it is unfair? Even the word fart is better f***.
Therefore, I hereby hope all of you change the "F" word title to other letters for the sake of F words.
Round 2 with Tjen
As for round 2... hehe I accidentally chose Luna the moon rider and Tjen, a.k.a Mr. counter chose drow. However I managed to guess the neding of the game, and it ended up ME WINNING....................... in the losing way lol.
The game started and we went to middle for the sake of going to middle,we played and Tjen was taking advantage of his dam high damage and range and landed some heavy blows on me. But I however, was able to last for 6 minutes until Tjen first blooded me for no reason.
I cried in front of my computer for 24 seconds ( Luna's respawn time ) and continued playing like a man. This time, Tjen was the same as me, he lanC too much and went way too close to me until my luna's hand touched something that musnt be touched. I used my dam ulti on him and he died and he said nice once again( he always say nice when some1 kills ).
After turning the tables for 3 minutes until Tjen killed me again, I lost my will to fight but I still played for the sake of losing. so Tjen killed and killed and killed until he got a DOMINATING streak. He could have destroy my dam tower but he didnt, he was a man.
I knew that I will lose in no time if i dont farm fast, so I farmed in the forest for duno how long until I earned 2.6k. But when I was on my way to kill ursa warriors, drow shot my luna's groing part and kept shooting and silenced me.Proud of myself to survive for more than 15 minutes in the jungle, Tjen said "hahaha noob!" for no reason and he ended the game. Sad ending lol.
The game started and we went to middle for the sake of going to middle,we played and Tjen was taking advantage of his dam high damage and range and landed some heavy blows on me. But I however, was able to last for 6 minutes until Tjen first blooded me for no reason.
I cried in front of my computer for 24 seconds ( Luna's respawn time ) and continued playing like a man. This time, Tjen was the same as me, he lanC too much and went way too close to me until my luna's hand touched something that musnt be touched. I used my dam ulti on him and he died and he said nice once again( he always say nice when some1 kills ).
After turning the tables for 3 minutes until Tjen killed me again, I lost my will to fight but I still played for the sake of losing. so Tjen killed and killed and killed until he got a DOMINATING streak. He could have destroy my dam tower but he didnt, he was a man.
I knew that I will lose in no time if i dont farm fast, so I farmed in the forest for duno how long until I earned 2.6k. But when I was on my way to kill ursa warriors, drow shot my luna's groing part and kept shooting and silenced me.Proud of myself to survive for more than 15 minutes in the jungle, Tjen said "hahaha noob!" for no reason and he ended the game. Sad ending lol.
Round 1 with tjen
On a not boring day like yesterday, Tjen the noob wants to play dota with me for the sake of playing. As the pro , I had no choice but to accept his challenge.
The 1st round was the most fun dota game I have ever played, Tjen, as usual used his delay hero tactic and waited for me to choose a hero. Filled with fury, I chose huskar for no reason while Tjen chose Axe. After 2 minutes the game started, Tjen's com spoil and he dced, leaving his poor little axe to be firstblooded by me. After that, i left the game( What else can i do? )
The 2nd is as known as kegemilangan TZE, we used the sam hero and played like men.Out of my imaginations, Tjen used some weird block-creep-between-towers-and-farm technique and managed to farm well despiting the fact that I am throwing my painless burning arrows on him.
The game continued.... I manage to get a first-blood on Tjen, and he said nice ( of course it is nice). After killing him once, I was too lanc until I went whacking him at half life and the fight began....My huskar was throwing spears at axe's groin part but he don't seem to care as he have a groin-plate. And while fighting, Axe accidentally stepped on a banana skin and accidentally land his culling blade on me, and I died for cow's sake.
After being humiliated by tjen and axe, I on hack( just joking ) and managed to kill him till a UNSTOPPABLE! streak and ended the game in less than 35 minutes ( I m not lanCing).
The 1st round was the most fun dota game I have ever played, Tjen, as usual used his delay hero tactic and waited for me to choose a hero. Filled with fury, I chose huskar for no reason while Tjen chose Axe. After 2 minutes the game started, Tjen's com spoil and he dced, leaving his poor little axe to be firstblooded by me. After that, i left the game( What else can i do? )
The 2nd is as known as kegemilangan TZE, we used the sam hero and played like men.Out of my imaginations, Tjen used some weird block-creep-between-towers-and-farm technique and managed to farm well despiting the fact that I am throwing my painless burning arrows on him.
The game continued.... I manage to get a first-blood on Tjen, and he said nice ( of course it is nice). After killing him once, I was too lanc until I went whacking him at half life and the fight began....My huskar was throwing spears at axe's groin part but he don't seem to care as he have a groin-plate. And while fighting, Axe accidentally stepped on a banana skin and accidentally land his culling blade on me, and I died for cow's sake.
After being humiliated by tjen and axe, I on hack( just joking ) and managed to kill him till a UNSTOPPABLE! streak and ended the game in less than 35 minutes ( I m not lanCing).
Saturday, July 4, 2009
A day with Eugene in my house.
On a boring day like yesterday, Eugene the noob made a request to come to my house to do something (we are boys), and I said yes. So I waited at home until 3 pm and saw Eugene outside my housegate burned by the hot sun.After making him to suffer outside for 3 seconds, i let him in, and we went up.....
The naughty went to my dam toilet to release faeces and after 20 minutes ( he is lack of fibre therefore suffering from constipation) we played a dota game with chee, 3v3 AI.
So the game started..... Eugene the beginner chose the one sento, chee chose riki and I use my NEVERMORE HAHAHA.While looking forward to Eugene's performance, I heard FIRST BLOOD! after 2 secs had started. Chee was like WTF, and I was FTW. Eugene was like oh my cow! And the game continued..... blabla.....bla......blabla. Since the game was hosted by chee, I and Eugene had suffered from the most Geng lagness in history, and we left the game.
For the second round, I totally forgotten so use your dam imaginations to make up a story.
As for the third round..... Chee got to go so only I and Euglena continued playing like men. Eugene improved like pikachu evolving into a raichu, he managed to turn the table despiting the fact he died 10+ times. Plus the assistance of the mighty me, the opponent dosent "sit" a chance to win so we won.
The fourth round was okok since we won the game with assistance of my cousin though he was doing nothing but feeding . And we won as well.
After the fourth 1, Euglena's parents came to fetch him and we sayonara, i know this post is sien so don't complain you dogs!
The naughty went to my dam toilet to release faeces and after 20 minutes ( he is lack of fibre therefore suffering from constipation) we played a dota game with chee, 3v3 AI.
So the game started..... Eugene the beginner chose the one sento, chee chose riki and I use my NEVERMORE HAHAHA.While looking forward to Eugene's performance, I heard FIRST BLOOD! after 2 secs had started. Chee was like WTF, and I was FTW. Eugene was like oh my cow! And the game continued..... blabla.....bla......blabla. Since the game was hosted by chee, I and Eugene had suffered from the most Geng lagness in history, and we left the game.
For the second round, I totally forgotten so use your dam imaginations to make up a story.
As for the third round..... Chee got to go so only I and Euglena continued playing like men. Eugene improved like pikachu evolving into a raichu, he managed to turn the table despiting the fact he died 10+ times. Plus the assistance of the mighty me, the opponent dosent "sit" a chance to win so we won.
The fourth round was okok since we won the game with assistance of my cousin though he was doing nothing but feeding . And we won as well.
After the fourth 1, Euglena's parents came to fetch him and we sayonara, i know this post is sien so don't complain you dogs!
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